This week we have a paper due about fatherhood and the affect fathers have for their children. What I learned were very interesting things that I had no idea fathers had an impact on. For example, a father's involvement has an affect on how children treat others. If a child had a nurturing father that was around often, they are less aggressive and more kind with other children. A father also has a direct impact on a child's well-being and can influence their child's academic achievement. There is a lot more that fathers influence and impact in their child's life, especially when they are the nurturing kind of father.
So since Thanksgiving is this week, I'd like to dedicate this blog to my wonderful father and how grateful I am that he is the nurturing kind. My dad is sweet, silly, talented and one of the most loving people I have ever known. He is so accepting that many of my siblings' friends became part of the family and took an an adopted role because they loved him and our family so much.
My dad always cared and is there for me when I need him. I can hold conversations with him that could go on forever. He's always teaching me and sharing his knowledge with me. He's the type of father who never withheld his affection for his children. I am so grateful for the wonderful influence he has had in my life and I only continue to realize how great he is and was and the sacrifices he went through for our family.
I love you dad! Thank you for being the best dad ever!
Monday, November 25, 2013
Wednesday, November 20, 2013
Week 9: Power
There are different types of power in a family that is used.
There are also different ways power is divided among a husband and wife. Some extreme cases are abuse, but power does not mean abuse. It depends on how one uses their power. In some families, the father has the most power, and in some the mother does. There are many families where the power is split between the two in different areas. Many women in that situation usually choose to have the power over decisions of the household and children, and the father may have more power over all the other matters. One might prefer having power over the bills, or they might share their power in many areas. When I think of power in the family, I think of who has control over what and who has the final say in it. Every family has their differences in how they divide and use their power, but here are some examples of the types of power parents might use either on each other or their children.
Coercive is usually used in desperation by a parent and is dependent on fear and the parent threaten punishments. Parents that use coercive power usually use that when nothing else seems to work, but many try to avoid it if they can. Another type of power is Reward power. It's when parents will try to get their children to be obedient by offering them some kind of reward for doing what they're told. Legitimate power is more power spouses use on each other rather than on their children. It's when one asks the other to do something that the other has the duty to comply and so they'll do it. Expert power is when one has power over something because they have special expertise or knowledge in that specific area. Referent power is used when the other obeys because they have a desire to please the one using the power on them. The last type of power is Informational which is basically persuasion by spouse that what they want is in your own best interest.
You can probably picture a bunch of scenarios in your head for each type of power and you probably have mixed feelings about the use of each of them, whether you consider them negative or positive. My goal was not to tell you what's good and what's bad with them, but just to point out what the types were.
There are also different ways power is divided among a husband and wife. Some extreme cases are abuse, but power does not mean abuse. It depends on how one uses their power. In some families, the father has the most power, and in some the mother does. There are many families where the power is split between the two in different areas. Many women in that situation usually choose to have the power over decisions of the household and children, and the father may have more power over all the other matters. One might prefer having power over the bills, or they might share their power in many areas. When I think of power in the family, I think of who has control over what and who has the final say in it. Every family has their differences in how they divide and use their power, but here are some examples of the types of power parents might use either on each other or their children.
Coercive is usually used in desperation by a parent and is dependent on fear and the parent threaten punishments. Parents that use coercive power usually use that when nothing else seems to work, but many try to avoid it if they can. Another type of power is Reward power. It's when parents will try to get their children to be obedient by offering them some kind of reward for doing what they're told. Legitimate power is more power spouses use on each other rather than on their children. It's when one asks the other to do something that the other has the duty to comply and so they'll do it. Expert power is when one has power over something because they have special expertise or knowledge in that specific area. Referent power is used when the other obeys because they have a desire to please the one using the power on them. The last type of power is Informational which is basically persuasion by spouse that what they want is in your own best interest.
You can probably picture a bunch of scenarios in your head for each type of power and you probably have mixed feelings about the use of each of them, whether you consider them negative or positive. My goal was not to tell you what's good and what's bad with them, but just to point out what the types were.
Wednesday, November 13, 2013
Week 8: Family Crisis
There are many different crisis that a family could go through and some cope with them differently.
A family could have a financial crisis where one of the parents are unemployed. There could be illness or death in a family. Divorce is a family crisis. They can have positive or negative effects on the family, or even both. Each situation and each individual can deal and cope with the crisis differently. When there is death in a family, it brings some families closer and strengthens their bonds with one another as they heal each other and try to fill up the hole from their lost loved one. For other families, they blame each other and shut each other out refusing to give or accept comfort making the hole made turn into a trench. The other members of the family grow apart more and more over time.
With divorce it could be good if it ended a terrible marriage where there was any kind of abuse involved, then that is usually better off for everyone. However, divorce can end up tearing a family apart and ruin relationships within the family that used to be great. My husband's family has never been the same since his parents' divorce and all of his used to be fantastic and close relationships with his mother and siblings have deteriorated. They used to be so close and get along very well, but his siblings now don't know how to get along with each other anymore.
A financial crisis can help a family become closer by getting together and doing what they can to make it by, but it could also result in many siblings getting jobs and spending less time with their family. As you can see, the outcome of a family crisis completely depends on how the members of the family cope with it. A crisis can bring a family closer or tear them apart. If we can keep this in mind, we can hopefully avoid a crisis negatively impacting our families and let them strengthen us.
A family could have a financial crisis where one of the parents are unemployed. There could be illness or death in a family. Divorce is a family crisis. They can have positive or negative effects on the family, or even both. Each situation and each individual can deal and cope with the crisis differently. When there is death in a family, it brings some families closer and strengthens their bonds with one another as they heal each other and try to fill up the hole from their lost loved one. For other families, they blame each other and shut each other out refusing to give or accept comfort making the hole made turn into a trench. The other members of the family grow apart more and more over time.
With divorce it could be good if it ended a terrible marriage where there was any kind of abuse involved, then that is usually better off for everyone. However, divorce can end up tearing a family apart and ruin relationships within the family that used to be great. My husband's family has never been the same since his parents' divorce and all of his used to be fantastic and close relationships with his mother and siblings have deteriorated. They used to be so close and get along very well, but his siblings now don't know how to get along with each other anymore.
A financial crisis can help a family become closer by getting together and doing what they can to make it by, but it could also result in many siblings getting jobs and spending less time with their family. As you can see, the outcome of a family crisis completely depends on how the members of the family cope with it. A crisis can bring a family closer or tear them apart. If we can keep this in mind, we can hopefully avoid a crisis negatively impacting our families and let them strengthen us.
Wednesday, November 6, 2013
Week 7: Fidelity in Marriage
In class today, we talked about the many ways one can commit infidelity on their spouse. The first way that comes to everyone's mind is the most obvious one, which is sexual infidelity. There are quite a few ways however, and many people would not find some of them as threats and steps to cheating on their spouse, but it can hurt them in some way.
One way is just by being dishonest with your spouse. Lying or hiding something from them is not a good idea ans should always be avoided. A marriage needs to be built on truth and communication with one another. One lie can build up to many lies which can crumble a once very strong relationship.
Pornography is also very harmful to a relationship and is a form of infidelity. It is not fair to your spouse. Even daydreaming and thinking romantically or sexually about another person is infidelity. People would think it's harmless when it's just a thought and not an action, but how hurt would your spouse be to know that you would rather think of someone else other than them to be like that with. Avoid it.
Avoid being alone with another person who isn't your spouse. It does and has happened where you can develop romantic feelings with that person. Also, don't confide in anyone other than your spouse.
Last, I would like to add that you should not put anyone or anything before your spouse. If your spouse is not your #1, then your marriage will loosen and the bond that keeps you two close together will get wider rather than tighter.
These have taught me a great deal of where to avoid situations where there is even potential of me becoming an infidel to my marriage. Remember the words "Avoid it." They have helped me so far in my marriage and I will continue to follow them. I hope they will help you just the same. Love your spouse, tell them the truth, even it it hurts either or both of you. Have an honest relationship. You two will go far!
One way is just by being dishonest with your spouse. Lying or hiding something from them is not a good idea ans should always be avoided. A marriage needs to be built on truth and communication with one another. One lie can build up to many lies which can crumble a once very strong relationship.
Pornography is also very harmful to a relationship and is a form of infidelity. It is not fair to your spouse. Even daydreaming and thinking romantically or sexually about another person is infidelity. People would think it's harmless when it's just a thought and not an action, but how hurt would your spouse be to know that you would rather think of someone else other than them to be like that with. Avoid it.
Avoid being alone with another person who isn't your spouse. It does and has happened where you can develop romantic feelings with that person. Also, don't confide in anyone other than your spouse.
Last, I would like to add that you should not put anyone or anything before your spouse. If your spouse is not your #1, then your marriage will loosen and the bond that keeps you two close together will get wider rather than tighter.
These have taught me a great deal of where to avoid situations where there is even potential of me becoming an infidel to my marriage. Remember the words "Avoid it." They have helped me so far in my marriage and I will continue to follow them. I hope they will help you just the same. Love your spouse, tell them the truth, even it it hurts either or both of you. Have an honest relationship. You two will go far!
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