Wednesday, December 11, 2013

Week 12: Consequences of Divorce

Divorce is hard on the children, and there are sadly consequences that come from it.  They are losing their family.  Their relationship with both of their parents change, but more usually with the father and child since the mother usually has custody.  Even if it's joint custody, the mom gets them more most of the time.  The father sometimes ends up far away, and there was even a study that showed that around the time the child of divorced parents turns 15, the average father of that child is around 400 miles away from them.  Today my teacher went over reasons for why that could be.  The mother may have moved, either to where she was able to get a job, or she moved closer to family or some kind of support system after the divorce.  Perhaps it was because she remarried or wanted to get far away from her ex-husband.  Maybe the father moved to get another job to get more income because he has to pay for two different households now for child support.  He may even had remarried and moved to live with his wife.  Because of the distance, the child sees their father even less and loses the relationship they once had with them.
The child might withdraw from their parents because of change in their relationship to them or even to each other.  Sadly, some parents fight each other through the child and that can really damage that child's relationship with them.  Divorce is never an easy situation and will always change a child and not usually for the better.

Wednesday, December 4, 2013

Week 11: Abortion and Adoption

The number of abortions are going up and the amount of adoptions are decreasing because of it.  It is very sad for me to think about, because there are so many infertile couples that want more than anything to adopt a child, but those who are getting pregnant and aren't able or don't want to raise their baby turn to abortion instead.
My teacher on Monday asked each of us to come up with what we would say about abortion, and I'd like to use this post to share what I have to say about abortion.  I'm going to come out and just say that yes, I am very much against abortion.  Mostly for those who choose it not because their health is at risk, and not because they were raped, but because they are selfish.  They don't want to go through pregnancy, they don't want to go through labor pains, they don't want to feel shamed because people will see their baby belly.  Some convince themselves that life is terrible and they are just keeping the child from going through hell on this earth.  Well, I've got to tell them to suck it up.  I say choose adoption.  Putting aside rape, I'd like to explain something to others who get pregnant outside of marriage.  Sex is procreation.  Remember?  If you don't want a baby yet, the safest way to avoid it is by abstaining from sex.  The number one function of sex is to make babies.  I think the world had totally messed this simple fact up.  They think sex is for fun and to enjoy.  Don't get me wrong, it's a beautiful way to express love with your loved one, but it's basic anatomy of it is making a child.  So many people seem to forget that and then get all upset and freaked out when they get pregnant.  Hello, you had sex, and babies are what come from it.  You reap what you sow.  I know, I must sound really harsh, but it should be so obvious!  For those who were raped and got pregnant from that I have a little more understanding, but I honestly think that letting the baby grow full term and then putting up for adoption would be the best of both of you.  So many people who chose abortion end up feeling guilt within a few years later and some people had found afterword that when they are trying to get pregnant, that they can't.  The baby they could have had they killed.  Who wants to live with that guilt.  I understand that some people in defense of the raped will say that it's cruel to make someone go through pregnancy having to see and deal with despair and reminder of what happened to them.  I understand that, but this life is full of trials and not a smooth road.  Some of us will have to suffer in different ways and this is one trial that some of us will go through and I know they can make it through.
Then comes the whole danger to the mom's health thing.  All I can say about this is that I haven't heard of a single story or scenario where a mom got an abortion to save herself.  I have only heard and seen the women in those situations want the baby so much that they push on anyways and have the baby.  So i honestly don't know about the whole "what about the women whose health is in danger?" thing.  It sounds like it's everyone else who wants to have the abortion and not the ones whose lives are at risk.  Of course, I won't hold onto that if I do hear of a story of a mother who chose abortion to save herself, I just haven't yet is all.
Then there is the famous "It's my body, I should be able to do whatever I want with it.  You can't tell me what to do with my body."  News flash:  Your body?  Have you ever seen what pregnancy looks like?  How a body forms over time?  There is a body inside of yours forming, but it isn't your body that you are taking out and destroying.  It is another person's body that you don't give a chance to grow and be born.  It is not your body which is why so many people don't want you to have the choice to take it's life away from it.  Think about it: what if your mom decided to abort you?  What if she gave all the excuses that everyone else gives?  How do you feel thinking about not having the chance to live?  Think about it.  Is abortion really necessary when there's adoption?  They are so many couples out there dying for children and yet there are so many women deciding to abort instead.  Don't you think adoption is the best choice for everyone?  Less regret, no preventing life, and making the life of other people happy by giving them a chance to raise children and thereby giving that child a wonderful life with loving parents who wanted them more than anything.  What do you think is better and more benefiting, abortion or adoption?