Today in class we discussed the adjustments we make at the beginning of marriage. I really enjoyed this lesson/discussion because I'm a newly wed and I either am going through some of those adjustments right now or recently did. Some of the adjustments mentioned was coordinating schedules with your spouse, accommodation, changing habits and routines, sleeping adjustments and family traditions. The one I brought up is the adjustment of not taking your problems to your parents like you might be used to, but discuss them with your spouse. Especially if they are marital issues. If you took your problems and complained to mom, it isn't going to help the problem. Who is the problem with? Your spouse? Then go discuss it and figure it out with that person. Your parents can't help you with your marital problems, but will probably make it worse. One student in my class commented that it could warp how your parents see your spouse and start to see them as someone who doesn't treat you right or someone with a bunch of issues. That's not fair to give your spouse that kind of appearance to your parents. You might ruin what was once a good relationship between them.
I remember getting this advice from a friend at my wedding reception and I still remember and take that advice seriously. I have been very private with my marriage problems where only my husband and I are aware of it and we figure them out together. I think it's some of the best advice and I would advise it to every married couple. If you take your problems to your parents, then you aren't communicating with your spouse and lack of communication is a huge cause of divorce. Please don't take communication with your spouse lightly. You will become even closer if you and your spouse can bring up and discuss problems and figure them out together. That is important in a marriage. I've been married for almost two years now, and I already see and appreciate the importance of this matter.
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